“GOOD JOB!”: ALTERNATIVES ESPECIALLY FOR TINY TODDLERS
Marietta Rice, Parent Educator

“Are we ‘Good-job!’-ing our kids to pieces?” This was the headline of an article published in the StarTribune onThursday, April 9, 2009. It was good to see this topic come up for discussion in the newspaper. It’s helpful to look at what is happening in our culture and discuss whether or not this makes sense for our homes and classrooms.  

The article talks about how the origins of using “good job” which began in the 1980s when parents and teachers were “told to reward and stroke kids pretty much constantly, supposedly to make them confident.”  This created a culture of “overpraised” children, which is now seen as counterproductive and can make kids needy for “another self-esteem-movement buzzword: validation.”

We all say “good job” because we want to reinforce what a child has done well. But saying “good job” has become pandemic! (We also say “good boy, good girl, good try, good work…but they all are really just a variation on “good job.”) We want to praise our children for every positive action or statement they produce, which has, in the long run, become counterproductive, especially for tiny toddlers.

Tiny toddlers are just learning language, so what they need to hear most often is a rich array of words that encourage and instruct. Yes, we want to use clear and concise language with 1-year-olds, but repeating “good job” for behavior is every situation from eating to playing does not help the toddler learn to differentiate what’s what or to understand the rules in different situations. Nor is it the best strategy for encouraging language development.

Rich Language Alternatives to “Good Job” (Try one, you might like it!)

What did parents of ones used to say? What are some alternatives we can try? Creativity and spontaneity is probably the best language strategy, but when in doubt,  DESCRIBE what you see. Remember the tone of your voice is as important as the words you use. Since tiny toddlers are great mimics, you will soon hear your words repeated back to you with the exact same tone and inflection.

Here Are Some Examples:

At the Sensory Table at ECFE

A child is about to pour sand on the floor
We state the rule: ”Sand stays IN the table,” and help child comply.
The child keeps the sand IN the table.
We describe what we see: ”Yes, IN the table. You kept the sand IN   the table.”
So we teach the concept of “IN” and the child begins to understand the concept and what that looks and feels like.

Going Down the Slide

A child is climbing up the slide (not using the stairs).
We state the rule: ”Climb up the stairs, slide down the slide,” and help the child comply.
The child climbs up the stairs and slides down.
We describe what we saw: ”You slid DOWN the slide. You slid DOWN.”
Now the child begins to understand the concept of “DOWN” and what it feels like.

At the Easel
           
A child is using a paintbrush and enjoying covering the paper with color.
We describe what we see: “You put BLUE everywhere. You liked BLUE paint today.”
Here we reinforce the concept of colors.

Putting a Toy Back on the Shelf
           
A child successfully puts a toy on the shelf at cleanup time.
We describe what we see: “Yes, the toy belongs ON the shelf.
You helped clean up!”
This reinforces the concept of ON and of cleaning up. Our tone tells our tiny toddler that we are happy!

This is a time for creative thinking on the part of both parents and teachers. What do we really want to tell our children when we say “good job”? Make a list and post it on the refrigerator so you have handy alternatives for your daily situations with your tiny toddler. These alternatives do require some thinking, but the rich, stimulating language your 1-year-old will hear is well worth it!

Additional Resources:

Complete article: http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle/family/42687007.html

For information on Language development of tiny toddlers:
http://www.zerotothree.org/site/DocServer/early_learning_handout.pdf?docID=3081&AddInterest=1153