TIPS FOR A SUCCESSFUL PLAYDATE
Kathy Adams, Early Childhood Educator

"Let's have a play date!"

It sounds like fun.  With proper planning, preparation, and expectations, a play date can be fun.  Children learn a great deal through social interactions with peers. There is much to consider before you invite another child over for a play date.  How do you pick a child to invite over?  There may be a child that you have regular contact with outside of your home and you have observed a connection between that child and your child.  That would be a good place to start. 

Here are Some Other Tips:

• There is more than age to consider.  Children who are two-years old will not automatically connect because they are two-year olds.  Personalities should be considered.  You may be best friends with a parent whose child does not get along with yours.  This will not be a fun play date for anyone.
• Begin play dates with one other child.   This will give your child an opportunity to practice social skills with one child at first.  You can have larger play dates after your child has been successful with one child.
• Select a time that will be most successful for your child.  What times of the day are best for your child?  These are the times to start a play date.  Sharing toys may not go well if one of the children is tired or hungry.
• Limit the length of the first play date to see how it goes.  It is always better to end with everyone happy and wanting more.  An hour or hour and a half is a good start.
• Prepare your child.  Allow your child to put a select number of toys away that will not be seen by the playmate.  This gives your child some control. Three toys is a good number.  Explain to your child that all other toys will be shared.  Explain what will happen during the play date.
• Plan for where the children will play.  Will they be limited to a playroom or bedroom or can they go anywhere?  Check the play area to make sure there are not too many toys and that what is available is age appropriate.  If there are too many choices, it can be overwhelming for children and can be a big mess to clean up at the end of the play date.
• Have realistic expectations.  You may be able to get a few simple chores done, but you are responsible for the other child and you need to be available.  Stay close enough to be able to hear if there is a conflict.  You do not need to intervene for every conflict, but may need to coach the children through some social interactions. 
• It always helps to have a snack break.  If you hear the children having more conflicts or if the play date is half over, it would be a good time for a snack.  Children who are hungry have fewer coping skills.  Ask the parents of the child about food allergies and dislikes.
• Be sure to have contact information for the parents in case you need to reach them during the play date. 
• Be clear about house rules.  Preschoolers should not play on computers or watch television during a play date.  The purpose of the play date is to encourage social interactions with peers.  Hurting of feelings or bodies is not allowed. Talk about these rules with both children before the play date begins.  One toy should be picked up before another one is taken out.
• Have both children help with clean up at the end of the play date.  Cleaning up is a part of playing.  Sing a clean-up song or put on some fun music and clean up with the children. 

As children get older, you will need to do less when there is a play date, but getting them started in the right direction is a big step.  Have fun!

Additional Resources:
www.babycenter.com/0_guide-to-great-playdates_63824.bc?

Kathy Adams/ISD 196 ECFS