The Four Stages of Play
Kay Sikich, Early Childhood Educator

“Why isn’t my 2-year-old interacting with the other children?”  “Shouldn’t my 18-month-old be interacting with others instead of crying for me?” 
“My 9-month-old is very bored with me. I think he needs to interact with peers.”  These are just a few of the questions I am frequently asked while teaching different age groups. It is important for families to know that social skills are minimal for two and under.  Children go through different stages of play as they grow and develop – socially, emotionally, cognitively and physically.  Listed are the 4 main types of play, which may be observed at various stages of development that children go through, all of which are valuable for growing children.

Stage 1:  Solitary Play
                    This is the first stage of play.  Babies and toddlers (birth to around two) are in this stage.  They love to be with family members and also enjoy time by themselves.  They are very busy exploring and discovering their new world.  These very young children tend to play alone regardless of whether other children are in the same room.

Stage 2:  Parallel Play
                     The second stage of play begins around the age of two.  Children play next to each other simply because they are in the same area but they are engaged in their own activities. They play side-by-side, watch and listen to each other.  At this age they are interested in the same toys and both see the toys as belonging to them.

Stage 3:  Associative Play
                     At this third stage most children are still playing independently but often do the same thing as other children. For example, if one child puts on a dress-up outfit, another child will put one on also.  The children will begin to interact through talking, borrowing and taking turns with toys, but each child acts alone.

Stage 4:  Cooperative Play
                      This stage becomes quite apparent in the later preschool years, (during the 4th and 5th years), when children have acquired the skills to interact together for the purpose of play.  Speaking and listening skills are more developed so children can communicate with each other.  Children can share ideas and tell each other what to do.  Communication about play is the critical skill of cooperative play.

Based on the research, here is my advice:

Parents of two’s:  relax; let them enjoy playing with you and themselves.  They have plenty of time to learn to play with peers. That is not part of their job at this age.  Many are still going through separation and are still learning to enjoy an ECFE classroom.

Parents of three’s:  Your child may really enjoy being around friends the same age. An ECFE class and a 3-year-old preschool are great choices.   Not all three-year-olds are ready for preschool.

Parents of four’s and five’s:  Your child should be starting to really enjoy playing with friends so a preschool experience will greatly benefit them.

Remember all children are unique.  There will be many differences in children who are the same age.  All children will go through the stages of play listed above, but they may not go through them at the same speed.

Additional Resources:

earlychildhoodnews.com
zerotothree.org
Creativityinsititute.com/earlychildhooddevelopment
faithharding.com
ezinearticles.com